Once it has you
it has you for life. I hear it calling me in the deepest of night. It
understands me, it knows me, it has its way with me. Am I in control, am I
not the master of me? It proves time and time again that I am in utter
slavery.
Despair is love
when you only love yourself but who can you love if you can't even love
yourself. The darkness knows me by name, it crawls on my back and
controls my thoughts until we are one and the same. There is no light at
the end of the tunnel, there is no hope, I am but a puppet so there is
no reason to cope. Why fight it when I am in agreement with it? Why
fight myself? Why fight who I am?
Once you cross
that line there is no coming back, you are owned you are conditioned to
forever be on a one way track. The patterns are direct and never
interchangeable it is well recognized and undeniable but I stay in
denial thinking I will one day be free. But freedom does not exist for
me, there is only me and it, me and the darkness that has crawled on my
back and fused with me to the point our thoughts and actions are one.
Now it's not
enough. The same sense of love that I thought was love is no longer
enough. Now love must be forced now love must be coerced. If you don't
love me as the darkness has taught me then it is I that must teach you
what love is. You were my companion, my right hand but now you have
strayed into the arms of another man. It won't allow me to forgive, it
won't allow me to forget. The pain and thought of rejection is too much
to forget. It always finds me and merges with my soul in full control of
my very being. It says it needs you that I need you and if I can't have
you then you must be extinguished. The only way to forget you is to
cease you.
You have turned
your way from me and the darkness. You have let us down now it's time
to put you down and cast you out like a rabid dog or a hoe who caught
the gout. There is only one option the option that will relieve this
pain for my love is perfect and yours is stained. Yes there is only one
option and it is all too clear, I hear it calling me it screams in my
ear...
